Just Our Thoughts

So, May is done! Where did it go??? Check out May's Focus here. I was working on staying away from the computer so I could do laundry more regularly, read more, do dishes after meals, and get up early.

Well, I did okay. I did spend less time sitting here. I spent more time outside. More time keeping up on things like dishes and laundry. More time reading and reading to the kids. And I got up earlier than I had been!

Woohoo! Now to keep this up.


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

I was so excited when my mom started blogging, and equally excited to have Dad join us in the blogging world as well! Welcome to the blogging world, Grampa Peter!!

Please go check out his blog; his latest post is really cool! An easy read.


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

In the past few months since Baby R's birth and more just recently, the topic of PPD has come up. I thought I'd post this book excerpt I found that talks about this very important subject.

The author is Elizabeth Pantley, the author of the "No-Cry" series. You can get more information here. On that site, she is offering a giveaway. More details after the book excerpt.

Question
I know that it’s normal to have the “baby blues” right after you have a baby, but my son is six weeks old. I thought everything would be wonderful by now and I would be so in love with my baby. I thought mothering would come easily. It’s not that way at all! I can’t sleep, even when he’s sleeping. I feel hollow inside, like the real me is gone. Sometimes I cry for hours; other times, I feel angry enough to explode. Life feels like an endless amusement park ride, and sometimes I just want to get off. Why am I such a terrible mother?

Learn about it
You’re not a terrible mother! You are a mother who is suffering from a condition known as postpartum depression, a condition that is treatable. While as many as 80% of mothers experience a temporary and mild condition referred to as the baby blues, up to 15% of women have the more severe reaction you’re experiencing. Having PPD doesn’t mean that you have done something wrong, or that something is wrong with you; it is an illness and it can be cured. Once you learn more about what’s causing your despondent emotions and take some steps toward treatment, you’ll be on the road to finding yourself again and enjoying your baby.

What is postpartum depression?
PPD is a medical condition a specific type of depression that occurs within the first few months after childbirth. It is caused by the biochemical and hormonal changes that happen in the body after pregnancy and birth…nothing that is within your control.

What are the symptoms of postpartum depression?
While PPD affects all women differently, a few typical symptoms can help your physician make the diagnosis. You probably are not experiencing everything on the following list, and the degree of symptoms may range from mild to severe, but if a number of these apply to you, you may be suffering from PPD. Symptoms of postpartum depression may include but are not
limited to:

• Feeling hopeless, worthless or inadequate
• Frequent crying or tearfulness
• Insomnia or sleepiness
• Lack of energy
• Loss of pleasure in activities you normally enjoy
• Difficulty doing typical daily chores
• Loss of appetite
• Feelings of sadness and despair
• Feelings of guilt, panic or confusion
• Feelings of anger or anxiety
• Extreme mood swings
• Memory loss
• Over concern for baby
• Fear of “losing control”
• Lack of interest in sex
• Worrying that you may hurt your baby
• A desire to escape from your baby or your family
• Withdrawal from social circles and routines
• Thoughts about hurting yourself

If you suffer from extreme degrees of any of these symptoms, particularly thoughts about hurting yourself or your baby, or if you have additional physical symptoms such as hallucinations, confusion or paranoia, then please call a doctor today. NOW. Your condition requires immediate medical care. If you can’t make the call, then please talk to your partner, your mother or father, a sibling or close friend and ask them to help you arrange for help. Do this for yourself and for your baby. If you can’t talk about it, rip this page out and hand it to someone close to you. It’s that important. You do not have to feel this way.

What can a doctor do about postpartum depression?
As with any form of depression, help is available and only as far away as your healthcare provider contact your ob/gyn or midwife to start with, if that’s most comfortable for you. She can help you get the professional care you need from someone who has experience dealing with this condition. In the longer term, it’s important that your therapy take place with a professional who has experience in treating PPD; the malady is different from other forms of depression, and it is very specifically related to your role as a new mother.

A visit to a doctor for the symptoms you’re feeling is nothing to fear. Your condition is something your doctor has seen before so you need not feel at all self-conscious. As for treatment, there are a variety of options, depending on how severe your symptoms are. Your doctor will evaluate your condition and may suggest medication, such as antidepressants. (Make sure that you let him know if you are breastfeeding so that the proper medication can be prescribed.) In addition, he will tell you that therapy and support are critical for recovery.

What can I do about PPD?
The first step you can take is to understand that you have an illness that requires action on your part so you can heal. Forgive me for repeating this, but it is important: Take that first step and call a doctor. In addition, the following things can help you begin to feel better right away: Talk to someone. Whom do you trust? Whom do you feel comfortable talking to? This might be your spouse or partner, it might be your mother, your sister or brother or a friend. It can really help to share your feelings with someone who cares about you. Even if you feel you can’t talk specifically about PPD, just discuss your feelings and your new role as a mother and its effects on you.

Read books about baby care and parenting.
Knowledge is power. Reading may help you feel more confident, which in turn will help you feel more in control of your situation. It will also give you the knowledge you’ll need to ward off the unwanted advice or criticism that can come your way during the early months of parenting, and that can be especially hard to take when you are feeling depressed.

Join a support group.
PPD support groups allow mothers who are dealing with depression to talk with others who have similar feelings. A list at the end of this section can help you find a group in your area. You might also call your health care provider, your local hospital, or your church for information. While PPD support groups are an excellent choice, any group for new mothers in which you can share your feelings about motherhood can help you feel better about yourself. Choose your support group with care, as you’ll want to be around people who support your parenting decisions. Being with a group who criticizes or questions your mothering choices will make you feel worse, not better. Conversely, spending your time with like-minded people will boost your self-confidence and help you feel more confident as a mother. This idea shouldn’t be seen as a cure, but rather one part of the process of recovery.

Accept help from others.
If anyone offers to help you whether it is to take your baby for a walk, cook a meal, or drive your older kids to sports practice accept! Learn to say yes. You don’t have to do everything to be a good mother. It’s natural for human beings to lean on each other, so go ahead and do a little more leaning.

Get some extra sleep.
Put your efforts to get your baby to sleep through the night on hold right now; this will come in time. Forget about the clock. Just sleep both of you whenever you can. Extra sleep will help you feel better.

Relax your standards.
This is not the time to worry about a spotless house, gourmet meals, the corporate ladder, or your manicure. Try to stick to the basics and concentrate on yourself and your baby.

Get some fresh air.
When possible, put your baby in the sling or the stroller and take a walk. The exercise and open spaces will help you feel more energized. Try to work a daily stroll into your schedule. If you have older children, walk them to school. If the weather isn’t suitable for outdoor walking, then drive to a shopping mall for an indoor walk.

Feed yourself healthy foods.
You can eat properly without much effort. Focus on fresh fruits and vegetables, and simple but nutritious meals. And eat frequently. Going long stretches without food wreaks havoc on your system. Simple snacks like an apple with peanut butter, a bagel, or yogurt with cottage cheese are easy to prepare and prevent your blood sugar from dipping and adding to your feelings of depression. Continue to take vitamins, and drink plenty of water. Love yourself. You are going to be okay. Take it one step at a time…but do take steps (such as those outlined in this section). With help and time, you’ll develop a refreshing and healthy outlook on your new role as a mother.

For more information

Books
This Isn’t What I Expected: Overcoming Postpartum Depression, by
Karen Kleiman and Valerie Davis Raskin (Bantam Books, 1994)

Beyond The Blues: Prenatal and Postpartum Depression,
A Treatment Manual by Shoshana Bennett and Pec Indman
(Moodswings Press, 2002)

The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep
Through the Night: By Elizabeth Pantley (McGraw-Hill, 2002)

Web sites
Pacific Post Partum Support Society
www.postpartum.org

Depression After Delivery, Inc.
www.depressionafterdelivery.com

To locate a support group
Postpartum Support International
www.chss.iup.edu/postpartum

Postpartum Education for Parents
www.sbpep.org

La Leche League Support Groups
www.lalecheleague.org/WebIndex.html

This article is a copyrighted excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by
Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

TWO people will each win a full set of five No-Cry Solution books – autographed!

You can keep them for yourself, give them to a friend, or hold your own give-away contests on your blog or website!

The No-Cry Nap Solution *NEW*

The No-Cry Sleep Solution (for babies)

The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers

The No-Cry Discipline Solution

The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

HOW TO ENTER:

Choose a line or two, or a complete except from any of my books. (Lots of excerpts on my website - take what you want!)

Quote it on your blog, website, newsletter, or Facebook page.

~ Include the title and author, PLEASE. ~

Send me the link to: elizabeth@pantley.com

That’s all ~ you’re entered!

Winners to be chosen at random on July 15, 2009.

See my website home page for a list of lucky past winners. http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

Hugs,

Elizabeth~^*

I hope I win! Why don't you enter and get a chance too!

Welcome Company Girls. Have some coffee and ice cream.

I'm already getting a blog make over from APH, so I thought I'd share this great giveaway over at The Faithful Fashionista. Go enter; there are only 4 or 5 entries to date, so you'd have a great chance. The entry is simply a comment on the post. More entries for doing other things. Look here for the changes to the "rules". Oh, and this isn't the only giveaway she has; there are 4 or 5 others too!


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

I have a friend who has been going through a court procedure for offenses done years and years ago. This situation has been very stressful for the family. The sentencing hearing was held recently and thankfully no jail time will be served. Their experience makes me so thankful for my freedom!

I have the freedom to serve my family.
I have freedom to visit with my friends.
I have freedom to have many children..
I have freedom to go to the store!
I have freedom to watch television.
I can read my bible openly.
I can learn whatever it is I want to learn.

I have freedom! I am so thankful for my freedom.


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

DH is landscaping our yard by hand. Seriously leveling the property and it's going to be a lot of work. Anyway, he was outside with the pick axe, digging up the grass and moving it to level the yard. I thought, hey, he needs this rose bush cut down so that he can put the retaining wall in; why don't I find the machette and get started on that for him. Well, I got about half of it done. Almost.

Before I was ready to quit, Baby R wanted me to stop and be with her. So I did sit and talk to J while he continued to dig. After a little while, Baby R and I went inside to cook supper. She sat and played for a few minutes but she did not want to be anywhere but in Mommy's arms. That's so hard to get anything done when she's like that. So very tough for me to listen to her cry while I cook!

Supper was headed to the table, the girls set the table and I took the little baby for a rest. I thought she'd fall asleep but nope; she had Momma to herself and she was going to laugh and play and dabble at eating. Silly baby! lol. I loved it and got up feeling mentally refreshed.

I served up supper plates for everyone and sat on the couch to eat. I was so very hungry; so very done. And my body was starting to cramp up or seize up. lol. J's like, "Quick, get up and make coffee before your body totally shuts down. I want coffee." Big meanie! lol. So I did, limping along the way.

I didn't realize that swinging the machette for a half hour could cause so much work on my body! I feel great but I ache all over! Even my toes hurt. My ankles. Oh and my shoulders and hands. Yikes. I am so glad I decided to help. I think he's going to need it. And, hey, me helping will get him a hot woman! He better not complain.

And he hasn't; he was very grateful that I was helping get those thorny rose bushes out of there. When I get them down a little more he will take the lawnmower over them and dig up what he needs to get out of there. I always question whether my attempts of aide are actual helpful, but it seems this time I am doing something to keep the ball rolling on the landscaping.

Seriouly, I'm hurting, and he knows it. I don't even wanna sit at my computer so I very sweetly begged J to let me use his laptop on the couch. He loves me. I'm sitting on the couch nursing a cranky baby and typing this post to you my readers in a soft cushy seat!

I can't wait to show you the in progress and finished product. I forgot to take before pictures until I was well into what I was doing.


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

We've started the landscaping.

I did this:


with this tool:


and I didn't even carry it away.
But he did this:



and piled it here:



To make a retaining wall once the ground is level.

My dh is trying to get fit so that he can pass the physical exertion test (also known as a P.A.R.E.) to become a policeman. His chosen method of fitness, is landscaping our yard by hand. There is a lot of dirt to be broken up and moved! I think it will work. And I get a nice yard out of the deal! A fit man, and a yard. Oh, the more I think about it the more I love this idea. (Not that I don't love my man the way he is, but we all know that we all need to be healthier.)

And just because she's so sweet and I really like this picture:

watching Daddy work

Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

I've been "playing" with my blog and adding "pages" or the appearance of pages. If you want directions on how to do this check out this great blog post on I Simply Blog. You can click on one of my new pages on the links under my blog title.

Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

It has been a LONG time since I actively participated in a Tackle It Tuesday,

We are going shopping later in the week, but so far, this is what I have planned.

Suppers include the following: Tonight (Monday) is burgers and veggies (frozen). Tuesday is chicken nuggets and fries. Wednesday is sausage and perogies. Thursday needs to be something easy too, because DH has fire practice. Friday is our new traditional pizza night. Saturday will be just me and the kids I imagine because DH is "bouncing" at our local graduation. Maybe instead of something easy, I'll just start earlier in the day and do something a little more. We are picking up a couple turkeys and a couple roasting chickens; maybe I'll do one of those with mashed potatoes and a few more "fixin's".

Lunches have been a problem for the last week or so. I'm sick of mac and cheese! We haven't had bread in the house (kinda my fault because I haven't been making it) so we haven't even been able to have sandwiches or toast. I made bread today so I'll see if we can pick up some sandwich meat and lettuce, just for something different. I guess I need cheap and easy lunch ideas.

For more menu fun, check out the Org. Junkie.

Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

There will be some changes around here. I won a blog makeover!

Sarah Mae over at Like A Warm Cup of Coffee held a party with prizes and I won a blog makeover by APH Boutique.


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

I'm reading. I'm not reading as much as I'd like, but more than I was! I am really enjoying by George. Instead of watching tv or being on the computer, I have been reading. I love reading. I'm so glad that I decided to take this challenge. I also started listening to The Innocent Man but Dave Ramsey radio podcasts took over that. I'm still making my way through One Year to an Organized Life as well. I'm thinking that my list was a little bit ambitious being that we are two thirds of the way through the challenge and I've only completed or started 4 of my 9 books and then added three more a third of the way through the challenge.

So to recap, I am currently reading or partly through:

• by George
• Financial Peace Revisited
• One Year to an Organized Life
• The Innocent Man (mp3)
• Created To Be His Help Meet
  

• The Migraine Brain
• Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends
• Beautiful In God's Eyes
• The Magician's Book
• Shepherding A Child's Heart
• The Shack
• Six Point Plan for Raising Happy Healthy Children
• The Homeschooling Book of Lists

My hidden spaces are being cleared of their clutter. I am getting quite organized. However, the focus seems to be more outside now that the weather is really nice again. So I would say that except for a day here or there, most of our time will be spent in the garden and raised beds. I do need to do some work in the laundry room because I got some more shelving!!! And I'd like to do a little in the guest room. And the bathroom is going to get some work in the next couple weeks too. My parents are coming to visit and they've been here before when we didn't have a door on the bathroom. However, this time, DH would really like to have a door on that room. We need a new shower curtain too. So those things that I wanted to do in April will now (hopefully) get done!

Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

After watching a program on CTV called Lost Adventures of Childhood, I found this blog by one of the mothers featured on the program. Her name is Lenore Skenazy. She allowed her pre-teen to come home alone on the subway. He had no cell phone. She trusted that he would ask for help if he needed it. And you know what? He made it home and was so very proud of himself. He learned some great skills that day.

I am very sad with the state of parenting in today's society. We coddle our children and don't allow them to experience things for themselves. We don't allow them to test themselves and gain confidence. Our fears are fed and provoked by tv shows and the media. Lenore Skenazy writes at Free Range Kids and her latest post is about how CSI has affected our parenting. The following is the comment I left on her blog (modified for here).

CSI group of shows are the favorite shows in this house, but Lenore is right. I think it does feed our fears a little. We have four almost free range children and a baby. The older four are free to be in our yard and the neighbors’. We have no fence, but trees surrounding the yards. I allow our oldest to walk the half block to our library a couple times a week. She is seven and a half. Sometimes she takes one sibling with her.

Just this afternoon we walked to our post office and I practiced allowing them to be a little more free range by allowing them to run just a little further ahead than I normally do. I usually keep the younger two (3.5 and 2) close, but I allowed them to go too. We were all fine.

Also, I considered, when we stopped at the post office to allow the four to play at a nearby park (ages 7, 6, 3, 2) while I went inside to grab the mail and some stamps. But I changed my mind. I didn’t know how long I was going to be inside and I didn’t trust that the oldest would keep the youngest off the street. So I called them to come to me. They responded immediately! I was so impressed with them. I then allowed them to play on the grass and ramp outside the building while I went inside. They stayed where they were supposed to or came in when they were done what they were exploring.

I’m learning more and more that people are generally good. My kids are great communicators (even the 2 yo) and I trust that they would ask for help if they needed it. I am slowly opening my free range wings. My husband is too, though he’s a little “behind” me in this.

We had a baby die at 12 days old. We know the pain of the loss of a child. We would never want to experience that again. At the same time, we don’t want to coddle or baby the others. It is a matter of finding balance and knowing our children and what they are capable of. And giving them the tools they need to be safe.

Here in Canada, our May long weekend was last weekend, so we are "business as usual" around here. Have a great Memorial Day weekend!

This weekend we are planning to plant the garden (FINALLY!), go to a fun afternoon at the local school, and lots and lots of cleaning. I had coffee with a local grandma this morning. She is such a blessing to me and my family. So thankful for local friends, young and old!

I have a cranky baby and a beautiful day outside, so I'm off. Enjoy your day, ladies!

Go read this story (an email forward, but well worth the read).


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

Baby R fell the evening of the 16th.
The first two pictures were taken the next morning (the 17th).


This one (#3) was taken on the 18th.


And these last two were taken last night (the 19th).


Today her nose is just a little yellow and green. Poor kid!


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

The story behind the phrase; check out this blog.


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

Earlier this week I posted some pictures (here and here) of my hidden spaces that I've been working on already. These were projects that we had started and just needed finishing. I still have some decluttering to do. I did not take the time this week to go through each room and make a detailed to do list. But because I'm not traveling this summer (June's focus) and we aren't moving (as far as I know; August's focus) then I can focus on these hidden areas more then. I'm just going to putter away at things and keep reading through the next two weeks chapters.

Regina Leeds suggests a few things to help us on our mission: yard sales (not my cup of tea), donating our things and using consignment shops, dumpsters and getting the whole family on board. Well, our unwanted items will either go to a second hand store (we have a great one in our little town) and the back of a pick up truck to go to the dump. We don't have the funds to rent a dumpster, but I can make a meal for one of the single fire fighters that has a pick up! We sent a load with him yesterday. The truck was over full! Thanks so much, FF Martin.

This week was actually very productive for us as a family!

Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

I have a friend who is hurting today. She is confused and physically bruised. Her dh got violent. She still loves him. But doesn't want this. She has a lot of decisions to make in the next few hours and days. I am praying for her and for her dh and their many children. I am very sad for them.

Why am I so confused? Why do I feel tested and unsure? It's a matter of balance and of legalism. I have a very strict point of view and belief on divorce. At least I think I do. I feel that although God allows for divorce in specific circumstances, I don't believe that's what He wants for His children. He wants families to stay together as a unit. Do I believe that God wants a woman to live with abuse? Of course not. Am I an expert on this subject? By no means. I don't even have real life experience.

My friend and her dh were just getting on their feet again. Honestly, I feel like this is an attack on their marriage and their "getting ahead" and becoming the family they were meant to be. I know that I don't know the whole story. I only get what she tells me. (And there are three sides to every story - his, hers, and the truth.) Satan does not want families that love God to stay together.

How do we define what God wants us to do? I would say that we go to the Bible. What does the Bible say on this topic? I think I will be looking into this a little more.

Some other questions that came up in my thinking of this topic, that I don't really have answers for:

Is God's love an ends justifies the means? Is God's love for us separate from His laws and the principles we are to live by??? Or is His love wrapped up in those principles and laws? Just like we as parents have for our children, God has rules and guidelines for us too. Because He loves us.

I am so thankful for the man I have been given. I have been incredibly blessed by one who has never raised a hand (or foot) in anger. He is a man that has a very high level of control in most areas of life. He's not given to addictions or such things. I can trust that a decision made has been thought through and is not just a willy-nilly response.

More thoughts on divorce and such things (from one who's never been there):

Divorce is always wrong. We are to submit to our dh's. That doesn't mean one has to accept the beatings. Rather we need to get the proper authorities involved and get him (and herself) help. Keep ourselves and our children save. This has been my belief, developed over time. Do I really believe that? Is that what I would do? In today's world, would there be ANYONE that would support me in that? Or would I be totally on my own? And if so, would I be strong enough? Who is my strength? Who is my friend's strength?

What does the Bible say? What's the real deal? Not watered down? Not hyper-religious? Not legalistic? I'm tired of the chaff! I want the meat. Anyone have any answers???? Is it situational? Is God a situational God???


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

My dh loves gardening and each year I try to be more and more involved. If you want to see some things we've harvested last year you can check out our tomatoes (here and here), our pickles and relish and our carrots.

This year we are branching out, trying more vegetables that we tried in the past but that did not grow very well (squash and beans). The veggies we will be growing this year are listed below. I'll probably be canning and pickling those marked (*). We will freeze those marked (**). Of course, we will eat lots of the product before it ever reaches the storage stage!

• corn**
• potatoes
• peas**
• cucumbers*
• tomatoes*&**
• spaghetti squash
• beans**
• onions
• carrots**
• beets *

Only part of Mt. Washmore! And the new tools. Tools purchased Tuesday afternoon.


We're getting Mt. Washmore sorted into Three Hills. The sorting was completed late Tuesday evening.













Three Hills in a cluster beside the washer. Let's get to it!!! By washing three to five loads a day, we were able to tackle these Hills of Laundry-land.


As of the posting of these photos, there are 2 partial loads (lights and darks), and 2 full loads of towels. Everything else has been washed and hung to dry. Friday afternoon saw me folding three very much overfull baskets. These folded items have yet to be put away and the lines are heavy with clothes still drying. But in three days, J and I defeated Mt. Washmore!! Now to maintain this success by continuing to wash, hang and fold three loads a day, as needed.


In addition to working on the laundry, I got the dishes caught up and the boxes and storage shelves organized; J got the shed cleaned out and our antique buffet moved in as storage for things being moved in from the shed. J moved his automotive repair tools and workbench out of my porch area and into the shed. He moved all the gardening items to the greenhouse attached to the house. I am gaining more "real estate" in my house!!! I'm taking back my home from the clutter and S. T. U. F. F.** And we ran around the house and yard about 6 times (on Friday) to get a cardio workout.

**S.T.U.F.F. = Something that undermines family fun; a Flylady acronym.


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,